


The Hardest Part of This is Leaving You

by whumptimebaby



Series: Turn Away [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Dream is Tommy's older brother, Gen, Hospitals, In-Universe RPF, No beta we die like Tommy does in this fic, One Shot, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit is sick, just hurt, not much comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28107867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whumptimebaby/pseuds/whumptimebaby
Summary: CW: Hospitals, unnamed illness, major character deathTommy is dying, and refuses to tell anybody but Dream. He spends his last night playing minecraft with Tubbo, and preparing himself for the inevitable.Very loosely based off Cancer by MCR, however could also be considered ventfic.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: Turn Away [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060256
Comments: 22
Kudos: 360





	The Hardest Part of This is Leaving You

“Hey Tommy?”

Tommy blinked himself back to reality, making immediate eye contact with Tubbo’s minecraft skin. He spammed shift a couple times, and grinned to himself. 

“Yeah?” 

Tubbo’s voice came through clear. “Let’s watch the sunset together.”

“I’d like that.”

He followed Tubbo, ignoring the way his throat tightened as he got closer to the bench. The server was lagging for him. He blamed the shitty wifi.

As he walked through L’manberg, nostalgia made him a bit teary. He was grateful Dream had asked nobody to come on that day. No streaming. No videos. No exile. Just his home. 

It was more of a home than he’d ever had before. No diss to his parents, but the people he met through minecraft and twitch were his family. He wanted to hurt as few people as possible.

“Do you want to get a disk? Cat?” Tubbo asked.  
“I’ll get Mellohi.”

He opened an ender chest, and hesitated before clicking out of it. So many important items were in that chest. 

With Mellohi playing, he watched the block sun lower in the sky. He cursed the awful graphics on his laptop. What he would give to play on his regular setup. 

“Tommy I-”  
“No, not yet,” he said.  
Tubbo inhaled a large breath, “But-”  
“We’ve got hours-”  
“I can tell you’re tired,” he interrupted, “I don’t want to keep you up if you’re tired.”

Like it had been punched, Tommy’s heart recoiled in his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to make the least amount of noise possible. He was trying to be nice. He didn’t know. How could he? It’s not like Tommy told him.

“I’m not tired yet.”  
“You’re lacking your usual,” he paused to search for the word, “grrr.”  
“Grrr?”  
He laughed, “Yeah, you usually have much more energy. Is everything alright?”

Tommy paused. His usual excuse of just being tired wasn’t gonna work, and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna tell Tubbo what was actually plaguing his thoughts, so he just laughed.

“Long day my friend.”  
“Then you should get some rest.”  
“You seem to be in an awful rush to get rid of me.”  
“No!” Tubbo said, “I just don’t want you to be miserable man.”  
“I appreciate it.”

He suppressed a yawn, ignoring the way his lungs ached with every breath. One glance at the clock had his world spinning. How had it gotten so late? 

“Don’t push yourself Tommy.” Tubbo turned his minecraft character to face Tommy’s, “I know you’ve been feeling worse lately, so just focus on recovering for me, okay?”

His hands shook. He typed out his next words in chat, unsure if he could say them out loud, not just out of the wave of soreness that plagued his throat and lungs, but because they’d gone thicker with emotion. 

Tommyinnit: they don’t think I’ll survive the night.

He deleted it.

Tommyinnit: I’ll do my best.

“Throat acting up again?” Tubbo asked aloud.

Tommyinnit: yeah

“Drink some water, go to bed, and we’ll talk tomorrow!”

His rapidly fatiguing body could no longer put up a fight. The last thing he wanted was to fall asleep on call with Tubbo.

Tommyinnit: I guess I should. this was fun, thanks for spending the day with me

He giggled, “We’ve gotta do this again sometime. Love you man.”

Tommyinnit: Love you too.

Tubbo hung up the phone, and he was left with silence. The moon was center sky in the SMP, similar to how it must’ve been in real life. He ran his fingers along the edge of his laptop. 

He was alone. To be fair, he’d asked to be, but now that he was it felt like a mistake. He’d done it to himself too.

Alone was too much for him, so he opened discord. He set himself to invisible and watched messages come in on his server. His community was wonderful. Watching messages wasn’t enough though. His eyes were growing heavier, he needed something to wake him up, so he opened his pm’s with Dream.

Tommyinnit: hi

For a moment, Tommy panicked. Dream was the only one he’d told, the only person he could think to talk to. It was too late to explain to anyone else why he needed to message tonight. Why he needed comfort tonight.

Dream: How’re you holding up?

He exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself back down.

Tommyinnit: just got off call with tubbo

Dream didn’t respond right away. In all fairness, Tommy wouldn’t know how to reply either. 

Dream: That’s big  
Tommyinnit: I need you to keep me awake

He tapped his finger beside the mousepad, watching Dream type.

Dream: You up for a VC?

Though his throat felt worse than it ever had, he was in no place to decline.

Tommyinnit: sure

“Hello?” Dream said.  
“Hi,” Tommy practically wheezed.  
“Dude.”  
“I know it’s bad.”  
Silence.  
“Dream?”  
“Yeah?”  
“When you met me,” Tommy asked, “did you think you’d ever have to do this?”  
He could hear the crease in his eyebrows, “Can’t say I did.”

“I just,” he stopped for a moment. Emotions did not come easy, but there wasn’t time for that anymore, “I’m sorry you have to. Talking to someone who knows they’re dying has gotta be burdening.”

“Tommy.” His voice was thick. It earned him a small smile. He was going to be missed. That was all he could ask for. 

That was the thing. He was going to be missed. His viewers, his friends, his family, they would all miss him. He knew it. He knew he was loved, and it hurt him even more. 

“Dream,” he choked, “I never wanted to go. I don’t wanna leave you, or Tubbo, or Wilbur. I don’t wanna go.”  
“I know,” his voice was barely more than a whisper, “I know Tommy.”  
“I don’t want to die.”  
“I know.”

He shut his eyes tight, letting what few tears his body could make slide down his cheeks. 

“Do you want me to stay on call with you?” Dream asked, “While you fall asleep I mean.”  
“I can’t ask you to do that.”  
“I’m offering.”  
He swallowed, another wave of fatigue hitting, “Thank you.”

A silence passed. 

“Were you on call before?” Tommy asked.  
“With Sapnap yeah.”  
“He doesn’t mind?”  
“Pretty sure he knew something was up,” Dream said, “I mean, he knows we’re talking, and he knows the server was locked for you today.”  
“Are you gonna tell him after?”  
“Do you want me to?”  
He thought about it for a second, “If he’s still up.” 

Really, he just didn’t want Dream to grieve alone.

As the night drew on, it was harder and harder to stay awake. At one point, it struck him that Dream would hear it when he flatlined. He couldn’t find the nerve to bring it up. 

“Hey Dream,” Tommy said.  
“Yeah?”  
“I’m really tired. I think I’m gonna close my eyes.”  
“Okay Tommy.” There was new composure to his voice, and warmth. His voice was warm.  
“Thank you,” he pressed his lips together to ease the tension in his face.  
“Goodnight Tommy.”

He didn’t have the energy to respond.

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE:
> 
> I wrote a short follow-up! They should be linked together as a series (please let me know if they aren't, I've never used the series function LOL)
> 
> I really appreciate all the support! Remember to drink some water, get some sleep, and take care of yourselves :-)


End file.
